An unforgettable Character, an unforgettable Life. Emma Irby and her imprint on a growing Florida village called Destin.
Saturday, March 31, 2018
EMMA IRBY, Oct. 15, 1914? - Mar. 19, 2018
Those who would like to send a Sympathy or Easter card to Emma's niece, Lucy, may do so at the following address. Emma had the flu last winter and she went to her Mansion and to be with Jesus forever on March 19, 2018 at the age of 103. She would have been 104 this fall. Happy Easter, Emma! Enjoy the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and know we are celebrating with you!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Get Emma's Book for Your Valentine
(DESTIN) The next best thing to having lovable Emma around, is to go to a Valentine party in her honor. The first double book signing and Meet the Author event will be held at the Destin History and Fishing Museum on Wednesday, February 13, from 5- 7 p.m.
The new book, "The Help of Destin, Emma Irby," is the second by local author, Athena Marler Creamer. The first, “The Impressive Art of Straightening the Home, Creating a Home of Importance Where Greatness Happens, (2001) was inspired by Emma and the authors grandmothers, such as Cleo Marler and Betty Kitson, who lived in Destin.
Both books will be available for purchase.
Emma’s story is told in interviews by those who remember Emma best, as the quirky and mysterious maid from Gee’s Bend, Alabama, and only negro living in Destin from 1955 until her departure in 1993.
Emma spent 38 years among Destinites, walking nearly everywhere she went to keep house and babysit for an astonishing number of families. Unlike the best- selling book, “The Help,” by Kathryn Stockett, this book is nonfiction, and mentions actual names.
Her good heart, hilarious truisms and eccentricities make her a memorable character. The author celebrates her friends long life ( she is 98), by delving into history as far back as the Congo in Africa and slavery, to the civil war to civil rights in Destin, to create a singular portrait from a generation of black American working women. All are welcome.
____________________
The Destin History and Fishing Museum is located at 108Stahlman Avenue, behind Whataburger, just East of the Marler Bridge.
Admission is free. Refreshments will be available. Both books are available on Amazon.com for $14 and $15, US or CAN. Further book information and video, at
http://thehelpofdestin.blogspot.com and http://heiressarts.blogspot.com
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The new book, "The Help of Destin, Emma Irby," is the second by local author, Athena Marler Creamer. The first, “The Impressive Art of Straightening the Home, Creating a Home of Importance Where Greatness Happens, (2001) was inspired by Emma and the authors grandmothers, such as Cleo Marler and Betty Kitson, who lived in Destin.
Both books will be available for purchase.
Emma’s story is told in interviews by those who remember Emma best, as the quirky and mysterious maid from Gee’s Bend, Alabama, and only negro living in Destin from 1955 until her departure in 1993.
Emma spent 38 years among Destinites, walking nearly everywhere she went to keep house and babysit for an astonishing number of families. Unlike the best- selling book, “The Help,” by Kathryn Stockett, this book is nonfiction, and mentions actual names.
Her good heart, hilarious truisms and eccentricities make her a memorable character. The author celebrates her friends long life ( she is 98), by delving into history as far back as the Congo in Africa and slavery, to the civil war to civil rights in Destin, to create a singular portrait from a generation of black American working women. All are welcome.
____________________
The Destin History and Fishing Museum is located at 108Stahlman Avenue, behind Whataburger, just East of the Marler Bridge.
Admission is free. Refreshments will be available. Both books are available on Amazon.com for $14 and $15, US or CAN. Further book information and video, at
http://thehelpofdestin.blogspot.com and http://heiressarts.blogspot.com
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Sunday, January 20, 2013
Why Emma was Locked Out of Mattie Kelly's House
A revelation:
In the book, The Help of Destin, Emma Irby, is a story of Emma's frustration at being locked out of Ms. Mattie Kelly's home on a hot summer day in 1992, particularly because Emma had walked so many miles to work there. It was the right day, too. She was hopping mad.
"Gurl, they was cars all over da pla' and no un wuld open up da do'! Dey jus looked at mee."
Emma's English became even more unintelligible when she was angry, and dropping her word endings...
"I wa' knockin' and knockin' an' I seen all dose people in dere and dey didn't come 'n get me or tell me NOTHIN'!"
I asked, "Emma maybe they didn't hear you and were having a party or something. Did you go back another day?"
"Ye'I deed, but de door was locked and nobody was dere."
I was concerned that Mrs. Kelly was growing tired of having Emma after 28 years, and maybe was avoiding her. Granted, she had made a lot of mistakes, like burning up the ironing, and sparking up the microwave. Still, it really bothered me that no one could take the time to let Emma know what the event was, when clearly Emma could have helped out, if only to clean up afterwards.
A few weeks later, the answer came in the form of an obituary.
Mrs. Kelly had died.
We were both quiet for a long time...
What was there to say?
I comforted Emma by telling her, "Well, Emma, I am positive that if Mattie had been alive, she would have opened the door for you."
Just as she had every time for 28 years.
.....
(c) 2013. Athena Marler Creamer. All Rights Reserved.
In the book, The Help of Destin, Emma Irby, is a story of Emma's frustration at being locked out of Ms. Mattie Kelly's home on a hot summer day in 1992, particularly because Emma had walked so many miles to work there. It was the right day, too. She was hopping mad.
"Gurl, they was cars all over da pla' and no un wuld open up da do'! Dey jus looked at mee."
Emma's English became even more unintelligible when she was angry, and dropping her word endings...
"I wa' knockin' and knockin' an' I seen all dose people in dere and dey didn't come 'n get me or tell me NOTHIN'!"
I asked, "Emma maybe they didn't hear you and were having a party or something. Did you go back another day?"
"Ye'I deed, but de door was locked and nobody was dere."
I was concerned that Mrs. Kelly was growing tired of having Emma after 28 years, and maybe was avoiding her. Granted, she had made a lot of mistakes, like burning up the ironing, and sparking up the microwave. Still, it really bothered me that no one could take the time to let Emma know what the event was, when clearly Emma could have helped out, if only to clean up afterwards.
A few weeks later, the answer came in the form of an obituary.
Mrs. Kelly had died.
We were both quiet for a long time...
What was there to say?
I comforted Emma by telling her, "Well, Emma, I am positive that if Mattie had been alive, she would have opened the door for you."
Just as she had every time for 28 years.
.....
(c) 2013. Athena Marler Creamer. All Rights Reserved.
On Being Chosen by Emma, by Mary Ready of the Destin Log
http://www.thedestinlog.com/news/mary-ready-on-being-chosen-by-emma-the-help-of-destin-1.80989
A retired English teacher and well known columnist reviews the book, The Help of Destin, Emma Irby
A retired English teacher and well known columnist reviews the book, The Help of Destin, Emma Irby
Thursday, January 10, 2013
How Well Do You Know EMMA? Take the Fun Quiz and Find Out
(DESTIN) Do you remember EMMA IRBY? Test yourself with the fun quiz on this website. If you get a high score, Congratulations! YOU WILL LOVE HER BOOK. If you need help, read The Help of Destin, Emma Irby (the book). Like Emma says, "I love all of y'all." Hoo, hoo!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
I could not have said it better..Mladen Rudman ruminates on Emma's book
MLADEN RUDMAN
Published: Sunday, December 30, 2012 at 13:35 PM.
An author whose family has deep local roots has written a book about a woman with deep local roots who only a few longtime locals may have heard of.
“The Help of Destin, Emma Irby,” is a self-published book by Athena Marler Creamer.
Characterizing the book as biography, Marler Creamer said she was inspired to write about Emma Irby because of her gentle, caring nature and unique place in Destin history.
The author was six years old when she met Irby. Irby was ironing clothes at the house of Marler Creamer’s cousin. Children hovered around her.
“She was very warm and kind,” said the author. “She was being so kind to the children. … She was a little more focused on us. ”
Irby made an impression on Marler Creamer for another reason, too.
“She was only the second black person I saw in my life,” recalled the author.
Irby was Destin matron Mattie Kelly’s housekeeper between 1966 and 1992. Marler Creamer added that Irby also freelanced, working for other families. She made coleslaw for a restaurant, helped with weddings, and, of course, babysat.
Excerpts from the book indicate that Irby was a woman of contrasts. She was stubborn but willing to compromise, proud but also humble, and charitable though seldom willing to accept charity.
Irby seemed able to adapt to any adverse situation she faced. Prejudice. Poverty. Periodic homelessness.
She enjoyed moments of happiness and routine, even if it sometimes seemed that Irby was taken for granted or treated as an object by those she helped.
“She was passed from friend to friend, family to family, place to place,” wrote Marler Creamer. “She helped pioneers and newcomers alike.”
In another excerpt from the book, Marler Creamer wrote, “Emma walked the same streets of Destin and Fort Walton for 57 years. I calculate 12 miles per week over 2,964 weeks, would be an incredible 35,568 miles! That's a lot of sand in her shoes. She walked over the Destin bridge to Fort Walton for one job, and back for another, in a single day in 1992. She never drove, but rode in the back seat of her clients’ cars, thinking it her place.”
Irby never married, but had plenty of opinions about men and marriage, added the author.
She was the only African-American resident in Destin before the Civil Rights movement.
The inspiration for “The Help of Destin” came after Marler Creamer wrote her first book, which covered the godliness of keeping a good home. Irby believed in cleanliness and orderliness.
The housekeeper came from Gee’s Bend, Ala., and every now and then found herself homeless. She persevered through the bad and welcomed the good. Sometimes, she earned a little money by picking up discarded cans. She was also known around town for her creative paper hats.
After their first meeting, Marler Creamer didn’t see Irby for 20 years. The women grew closer in the early 1990s.
Today, Irby is 98 years old and living in Mobile, Ala. Marler Creamer plans to visit Irby to give her an autographed copy of the book and reading glasses. A portion of sales of the book will go to Irby.
“The Help of Destin” is available at Amazon.com or Createspace.com. It is listed for $14. Some copies also will be available at Bay View RV Campground, 749 Beach Drive, Destin, which is a business that Marler Creamer owns.
//
Published: Sunday, December 30, 2012 at 13:35 PM.
An author whose family has deep local roots has written a book about a woman with deep local roots who only a few longtime locals may have heard of.
“The Help of Destin, Emma Irby,” is a self-published book by Athena Marler Creamer.
Characterizing the book as biography, Marler Creamer said she was inspired to write about Emma Irby because of her gentle, caring nature and unique place in Destin history.
The author was six years old when she met Irby. Irby was ironing clothes at the house of Marler Creamer’s cousin. Children hovered around her.
“She was very warm and kind,” said the author. “She was being so kind to the children. … She was a little more focused on us. ”
Irby made an impression on Marler Creamer for another reason, too.
“She was only the second black person I saw in my life,” recalled the author.
Irby was Destin matron Mattie Kelly’s housekeeper between 1966 and 1992. Marler Creamer added that Irby also freelanced, working for other families. She made coleslaw for a restaurant, helped with weddings, and, of course, babysat.
Excerpts from the book indicate that Irby was a woman of contrasts. She was stubborn but willing to compromise, proud but also humble, and charitable though seldom willing to accept charity.
Irby seemed able to adapt to any adverse situation she faced. Prejudice. Poverty. Periodic homelessness.
She enjoyed moments of happiness and routine, even if it sometimes seemed that Irby was taken for granted or treated as an object by those she helped.
“She was passed from friend to friend, family to family, place to place,” wrote Marler Creamer. “She helped pioneers and newcomers alike.”
In another excerpt from the book, Marler Creamer wrote, “Emma walked the same streets of Destin and Fort Walton for 57 years. I calculate 12 miles per week over 2,964 weeks, would be an incredible 35,568 miles! That's a lot of sand in her shoes. She walked over the Destin bridge to Fort Walton for one job, and back for another, in a single day in 1992. She never drove, but rode in the back seat of her clients’ cars, thinking it her place.”
Irby never married, but had plenty of opinions about men and marriage, added the author.
She was the only African-American resident in Destin before the Civil Rights movement.
The inspiration for “The Help of Destin” came after Marler Creamer wrote her first book, which covered the godliness of keeping a good home. Irby believed in cleanliness and orderliness.
The housekeeper came from Gee’s Bend, Ala., and every now and then found herself homeless. She persevered through the bad and welcomed the good. Sometimes, she earned a little money by picking up discarded cans. She was also known around town for her creative paper hats.
After their first meeting, Marler Creamer didn’t see Irby for 20 years. The women grew closer in the early 1990s.
Today, Irby is 98 years old and living in Mobile, Ala. Marler Creamer plans to visit Irby to give her an autographed copy of the book and reading glasses. A portion of sales of the book will go to Irby.
“The Help of Destin” is available at Amazon.com or Createspace.com. It is listed for $14. Some copies also will be available at Bay View RV Campground, 749 Beach Drive, Destin, which is a business that Marler Creamer owns.
//
Monday, December 17, 2012
Emma Irby, a part of Destin Folklore
(DESTIN) Athena Marler Creamer announces that her book, "The Help of Destin, Emma Irby," is now available.
Emma Irby, for those who may not remember, is a part of Destin folklore. She was the only black resident actually living in Destin for 37 years before civil rights and in the days of the active KKK here. Those who remember her do with fondness.
She was known for her quirky hats and crazy stories, and for picking up soda cans along the roads.
She was also known as Mrs. Mattie Kelly's housekeeper from 1966-1992. But she freelanced for many others in town, making coleslaw for Capt. Dave's Restaurant, cleaning cottages, and assisted with weddings for the families she worked for. She also ironed all over town, and watched children, cooked, and kept house.
She was afraid of electricity, didn't know how to use phones, and was at times homeless.
Never married, she nonethless gave us opinionated advice on clothes, men and marriage.
Athena met her in 1966 at her cousin's house where she was ironing with the children. In 1986, Emma was an invited guest to her open house. Emma dropped in again in 1990 to help Athena with a new baby, but it was in the next three years that Athena grew to know Emma and tried to discover her background and life story.
Her research took her to Gee's Bend, Alabama, to another civilization in a lost cotton Plantation, a slaveholder turned landowner who fought for slavery as an officer in the Civil War, and a smuggled slave named Dave on the Wanderer who was Emma's great grandfather. The boat was a prototype for the famous "America" which is where we get the "America's Cup." The Wanderer was outfitted for human trafficking. it was a magnificent sailing yacht from New York, which smuggled in the last cargo of slaves before the war, 50 years after it was forbidden.
Through interviews, photos, humorous anecdotes, annotations, timelines, music, media, books, and a series of letters written to Athena by Emma, Athena pieced together a patchwork of fascinating and conflicting history and became convinced that Emma's story has biographical significance. Emma is representative of a generation of working Black Women in the 20th Century of America. At 98, it was time to record that story. There are not many of them left.
Emma also was invited to the Inaugural Ball for President Jimmy Carter.
But her book is also a snapshot of Destin during those years and a revealing portrait of some of the residents who knew her. Local bankers like Roger Clary and Jimmy Tringas, condominium developers like Ernest Shahid, and Merlin Stickelber and Marvin Chapman, were businessmen from the southern states who were some of her first employers before she began helping the next generations of residents. Some chapter titles: Destin, the Way We Were, Enter the First Skychangers, The Man from Tallahassee Who Crossed the Street, The Tringas Years, The Gullahs, Happy Birthday to Me, Bleachy Clean, and What You Gonna Wear?
Emma loved us and Destin. We were her family. She lives in a foster care home in Mobile and Athena plans a trip to meet her again after 19 years. Lark Tringas Bostick and Alex Tringas recently visited the woman who took care of him as an infant, 55 years ago.
Emma will receive a portion of royalties from book sales.
There is a drawing for a free book for those who LIKE a facebook page. The drawing will take place on Christmas Eve, and winner will be announced on facebook on Dec. 25th.
Books may be ordered through Createspace or Amazon.com. More information is available at http://thehelpofdestin.blogspot.com
ISBN-10: 1477502785 BIOGRAPHY/ AUTOBIOGRAPHY/ CULTURAL HISTORY
338 pages, $14.00 US, Softcover, 6x9, 1.3 lbs.
ORDERING INFORMATION
http://www.amazon.com/The-Help-Destin-Emma-Irby/dp/1477502785
https://www.createspace.com/3883838
TO ENTER DRAWING: https://www.facebook.com/TheHelpOfDestinEmmaIrbyTheBook
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Sunday, December 16, 2012
LIKE Emma's book on facebook and WIN a free book on Christmas
Saturday, December 15, 2012
ORDER EMMA'S BOOK TODAY FOR DELIVERY BY DEC. 21
PLEASE ORDER EMMA'S BOOK DIRECT FROM THE PRINTING HOUSE TODAY TO RECEIVE BEFORE CHRISTMAS! Standard Shipping costs $3.59 to receive by Dec. 28. Expedited costs $11.18, and Priority costs $15.95 for Dec. 21st delivery. (Shipping charges will work for multiple books ordered.) https://www.createspace.com/3883838
AMAZON.COM will receive this special Christmas edition in 6 days. BOOKS ARE $14.00, and shipping cost covers multiple books. https://www.createspace.com/3883838
PLEASE READ: An Emma Christmas" on this blog BELOW.
LOOK INSIDE THE BOOK, at www.amazon.com
See Youtube Video ABOVE
To connect with the Author: heiressarts@gmail.com
To follow on facebook, www.facebook.com/TheHelpofDestinEmmaIrbyTheBook
To follow on twitter, http://twitter.com/heiressarts
FOR BULK ORDERS AND BOOKSTORES: https://www.createspace.com/3883838
BOOK SIGNING EVENT: TO BE ANNOUNCED
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
God bless you,
Athena
Monday, December 10, 2012
An Emma Christmas
An “Emma “Christmas
That Christmas Eve, Emma was supposed to be picked up by Linda Meredith Carter at Pavlic’s Florist to be driven to the Greyhound station so she could go home for Christmas. The weather was damp, foggy and cold, and I talked her into staying with us. “Can’t you go just as well for New Year’s?” “I s'pose so," she said, looking at the bad weather outside. We invited her to church, to see the Pageant, and to eat with the family at my sister’s house, but she didn’t want to go. I said, well, you can sit and wait for us, enjoy the Christmas tree, have some eggnog, look at the Nativity, and we will bring back some Christmas dinner. She liked the idea.
When we returned at 10 p. m. she was sleeping upright on the sofa in the dark, but for the soft glow of Christmas tree lights. I gently woke her up. In her hand she held the baby Jesus from the Nativity set to her heart. I helped her to her room and replaced the infant King in the manger with a silent prayer. For some reason, I was a bit ashamed. Emma had grasped the meaning of Christmas, and Christ Himself, far more than we had. The next morning, she enjoyed watching us open presents, opened some for herself, and we all had Christmas Dinner, herself in the kitchen again. Then she went back to her room for a long winter’s nap.
.....
Friday, September 21, 2012
Blueberry Tea with Lorelei Stoble
Blueberry Tea with Lorelei Stroble Welcoming us into the lovely dune-level condominium in Santa Rosa Beach, Mrs. Lorelei Stroble was wearing white slacks to match her soft hair, and a blueberry and white blouse, to match her blue eyes. She offered my friend and me a tall glass of freshly brewed blueberry iced tea and relaxed in her reading chair to reminisce. "It was after Emma went to the Carter Inauguration, she began, that Emma helped me. She was at my home every day for about three years. She didn't room with us, but we carried her to Ms. Kelly's house in the evening. Emma stayed in a greenhouse-like cottage which was once a carport, apart from the main house." "My former husband was in the liquors business. We had a large cabinet of bottles. Emma used to say, "Mr. Bill, I be'n ironing all day, and the chillun have been terrible. I need a drink!" My husband marked a bottle, because we once had a maid that would pour for herself. So, he'd say," if you'll wait to the end of the day, I'll pour you one." The next story she told reminded me of my favorite Peter Sellers movie from 1968, called "The Party." It starred a very sober, but inept, Indian actor played by Peter Sellers, who for religious reasons never touched alcohol, and a tipsy waiter serving glamorous starlets and studio wives at a ritzy party given by a big time Hollywood producer. The movie was was a madcap comedy of errors, set in a serious, dignified setting among people trying terribly to remain cool, calm and collected. While the waiter was mute as he drunkenly navigates a maze of obstacles and causes others to have embarrassing accidents, Emma was not playing a silent part. "One night Emma served for me at a dinner party I was giving. I made roast duck, and vegetables, and for dessert, homemade peach icecream. We were having two doctors over, a psychiatrist and a pediatrician, with their wives. One of the wives was about 20 years younger than the other one. Emma told one, "Is dat your daughter? She looks JUST LIKE Yoo." But that wasn't all. "Emma was in the kitchen, finishing what was in the glasses, and was feeling no pain. While she served the second course, one of the doctors fished out a twenty dollar bill and tried to discreetly pass it to her behind his chair. Noticing, she announced in a loud voice: "Oh, Thank Yoo! Dat's so nice of yoo. None of these other S.O.B.s would've give me dat! " "After we had finished eating and were talking, it was time for the dessert." "There were two brick steps leading up from the dining room into the kitchen. Emma was supposed to serve the tea tray with pretty little crystal bowls filled with the peach icecream. As she walked down the stairs, she must have tripped and the whole tray went one way, and all the icecream and cups went everywhere, all over the carpeting." My husband said, "That's it. Get finished up, get your purse, I'm taking you home." "He didn't even wait to let her stay to clean up the icecream. I had to do that." Are you sure we are talking about the same Emma? I wondered aloud. She told me that she never drank. "Well maybe she doesn't now, but she sure did back then!" Thinking about it later, I did seem to remember Emma talking about a party like this one. So I hope she doesn't mind my telling the story, which everyone thought was humorous, even Emma. Emma loved being different, and she liked to laugh at her own antics. She certainly could be a lot of fun. I asked where Lorelei was from. Churchhill, Louisianna, she told me. I asked her since she had seen "The Help" movie, and whether there was the same type of prejudice there. Oh no, she said. We had them help us all the time. My grandmother was raised on a Plantation with 14 children. They ironed, and cleaned and a teacher came to school them. As I left, the soft spoken Lorelei (whose Germanic name means the Mermaid of the Rhine), had another thought. "I once had on a dress that Emma really liked." She said, admiringly, "I'll race you for that dress." We laughed because she'd said that to me once, too. That meant high praise. It was nice to know that Emma never changed. She was the same Emma from the very beginning. (c) 2012. Athena Marler Creamer. All Rights Reserved.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Two Angels at the Door from The Help of Destin: Emma Irby
Two Angels at the Door
When Christina was born, I was 30 years old and didn't have a clue. I was as prepared as a mother-to-be, could be, with the nursery decorations. But after one "false alarm," crazy race to the hospital, the real birth came on suddenly, three nights later and I had forgotten to do enough laundry. Coming home from the hospital, there were no lingering oohs and ahhs because everyone who had attended the birth had to be somewhere else...the dock, the post office, the Gulf, the bank, the gift shop, answering the business phones, buying groceries, filling prescriptions. My mother said, will you be okay until later? So, feeling totally alone, just me and Jesus, I sat on my sofa with my precious baby in my arms and shed a tear. I needed help, and a lot of it.
I must say later that night, everyone came over, but the next day, even my dear mother could not be there for long. It was March 14th, Spring Break, and Emmanuel party boat business had to be run. Exhausted and weak from labor that was long and "precipitous," it was hard to even get out of bed.
Someone must have told Emma that I had a baby.
Just when I was desperately crying out to God, she knocked on the door. I could have kissed her. She just started "doing" everything that needed to be done, including laundry, answering the phone, bringing me things to drink, and holding the baby. She made life beautiful. Happy days were here again.
That day, I had two angels entering my life. Christina, my firstborn, and Emma. I have no doubt both were heaven-sent.
....
Friday, August 10, 2012
Out of Africa
Out of Africa
Reading all of this, sometimes you don't see the obvious. Emma's people are from South Carolina.
Possibly but not conclusively, one of the "7."
Another interesting thing was that within the Irby slaves, there was a set of twins born in 1862, both male. One was named Lum, or Lumsi (meaning "excellent" in African). And the other might have been Cal.
It was feared that fresh slaves from Africa would have re-Africanized the American bred negro slaves they came in contact with, those that had become "sweeter" in disposition over time, like wild honeybees bred with other docile honeybees. No one knew what would happen. But, they adjusted better than was thought.
408 from the Wanderer, and 106 from the Clotilde ships. They were astonished to see men with their own skin color wearing white men's garments.
After 50 years, the forgotten phrases, drumbeats and ring dances would begin again. Just like I heard on Music from Beyond the River, recorded in Gee's Bend in 1941.//
(Photo- The Wanderer, from Wikipedia. Creative Commons License.)
Kindly Mr. Irby? Free Book Excerpt
Kindly Mr. Irby?
Who was this slaveholder, turned landholder? If Mr. Irby picked a time to pick cotton in Rehoboth, he might have waited a mite too long. Yet, we know he did, because we have Emma.
Born in Marlboro in 1818 (the same year importing slaves were banned by the way), in 1850 Census he lived as a single man with 31 slaves in Lexington, Dallas County, Alabama.
One decade later in 1860 I found him at home in Rohoboth, Gee's Bend, (post office box Prairie Bluff) and his 31 slaves had grown from 31 to "47 plus 7." That "plus 7" interested me very much, since the Wanderer had landed 2 years earlier and the captives trekked through his home state. Those 54 slaves lived in 12 houses on land he purchased from Mr. and Mrs. Christian.
Enter the war.
"His people" must have earnestly waited for him to return from the Civil War, not knowing their fate. Cal, Emma's future grandfather, being too young to know.
Josiah was a foot soldier, and an older one at that. He volunteered to join the Confederate Army at age 44, went in as a 2nd Lieutenant, Alabama, Company A, 4th Infantry Regiment, muster date 1 August year 1862. The war had begun at Ft. Sumter in 61 and he saw much action. I honestly felt sorry for him. He started with the Battle of Manassas which lost all field officers, Yorkton, Seven Pines 2nd Battle of Manassas, Seven Days Battle, Chickamauga, Antitem, Fredericksburg, Gettysburg, Ft. Sanders, The Wilderness, and Spotsylvania Campaign. Miraculously he did not die, although he may have finally have been captured and surrendered with 300 others at the Battle of Mobile Bay in 84.
After 1865, he applied for a Presidential Pardon which cost him $2,000.
His slaves were now free, in theory at least.
In 1870, he lived in Rehoboth, with $10,000 worth of land, paying taxes of $1,800 to Mileax County. He was 52 years old.
He was living with a "mulatto" freed woman and her (their?) son, Duncan, also "mullato," and in his last will and testament in 1870, he gives Emeline Gee, quite a bit of property, and she is named preferentially before any of his other heirs. Her occupation on the 1870 Census is "dorm servant."
His will began with the words, "In the Name of God, Amen!"
He died the following year.//
(Photo The Battle of Mobile by Louis Prang. Library of Congress. Used by Creative Commons, Wikipedia.)
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Color Blindness, from The Help of Destin, Emma Irby, by Athena Marler Creamer (free sample chapter)
Color Blindness
One day I curiously asked Emma about Mattie Kelly’s house because Emma had worked there a very long time.
After she had a "falling out" with Mrs. Tringas over moving things on a dresser, she came to Destin in 1966 and worked for Mattie off and on for 27 years.
“What do yoo want to Kno’?” I thought she seemed a little guarded.
“Well, like what kind of living room furniture does she have?” You can tell a lot about a person by the way they decorate their home.
“Well… Yoo kno’. All kinds.”
“In the same room?”
“Yea, kinda mixed like.”
"That's called Eclectic."
"Who?"
"When all the styles are different...What color is her kitchen floor that you used to mop? “
“Black and white, I guess. “It wuz…kinda checkety-like. She ha‘ a big ki‘chen. I used to mop it last thing every night.“ She stretched out her hand to the northeast, pointing into the distance toward on Indian Trail, where the Kelly's lived.
“You mean like a checkboard? Big black and white squares?”
“Yea, like dat.”
“What is her color scheme in the living room?”
“Whut do you mean, color scheme?” She laughed.
“I mean, what colors does she have? Like red, green, blue, or earth tones?”
“Erf tones? ERF TONES?,” she laughed louder.
“I mean like brown, white, cream, gold…“
“I don’t kno’. All colors I reckon,” she said with a smile. She started rocking.
“You reckon” I laughed, too.
“Yea. Well, I’m color blind.”
That made me ponder and smile, too. Emma was color blind!
“What color was her bedroom?” adding that my grandmother’s was pink.
“I don’ kno’, because I never went upstairs in Ms. Kelly’s house.”
“You didn’t? That's strange. Were you her only maid?”
“Naw, I took care of the downstairs, and some others took care of the upstairs.”
“Really?”
“Yea, because I stayed home and did the cookin’ in the kitchen.“
“Oh, you were a better cook.”
“I guess SO!“ She said matter of factly.
“Where did you sleep in Mattie’s house?” I’m so nosy.
“Next to the ki’chen. In the Laundry.”
“You mean, on the floor?”
“Naw, I had a little cot in there. But I don’ like a cot. I make a little pallet on the floor.”
“Did Mattie like to give a lot of parties? Like for important people in the art world?”
“She did give parties but mostly for family. They was always comin’ and goin’. I used to help Joon‘s momma, what was her name?”
Emma had changed the subject.
“You mean Jane? Jane Marler? There was a June, too. She died. You probably mean her mother, Aunt Stella, right? June was her daughter?”
“Yea, I helped her give a big wedding. I was written up in the paper.”
Emma was frequently mentioned in the newspapers for helping with parties and weddings.
One day Emma came over very mad because she’d walked over the Mattie’s house to work the previous day, and could not get in. So, she slept in the car port until morning. Still, no one was home, so she walked several miles to my house. It was nothing for her to walk miles between jobs.
We just never knew when to expect her.
(c) 2012 Athena Marler Creamer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo of Holiday Isle and Destin Harbor from 1964 Movie, Dr. Strangelove.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Free Book Excerpt: Preface to "The Help of Destin, Emma Irby" by Athena Marler Creamer
Preface to "The Help of Destin"
For 57 years, truly, Emma Irby was "the Help" of Destin.
She recollects"helping" more than 75 of our families to the third and fourth generations; first the parents, then their children, and grandchildren, and great grandchildren. She was passed from friend to friend, family to family, place to place. She helped pioneers and newcomers alike.
In the 1950's she cleaned our earliest motels and cottages, and in the 1970s made the cole slaw at the new Capt. Dave's Restaurant. Behind the scenes, she was helping Destin prosper.
Eleven Presidents took office during the 57 years she spent among us, starting with Dwight David Eisenhower. She watched Destin grow from a small fishing village to a world famous resort, increasing from one mile to seven miles long, and city population booming from 750 to 15,000? residents. Now Okaloosa County hosts 20 million international visitors a year.
She was here even before"Civil Rights." When a small but active kkk in Destin posted the insulting sign, “Negro don’t let the sun set on your head, ” it pointed to her, since she was the only "colored" person actually living in Destin. Negros were relegated to "The Quarters" in Ft. Walton. Segregation and "bussing" were policy in Okaloosa County. There were separate parks and beaches for black and white; "Liza Jackson Park" and “Beasley Park"attest to this. Yet she lived long enough to see the first African-American President, Barack Obama and his First Lady move into the White House and seek reelection.
Emma walked the same streets of Destin and Ft. Walton for 57 years. I calculate 12 miles per week over 2,964 weeks, would be an incredible 35,568 miles! That's a lot of sand in her shoes. She walked over the Destin bridge to Ft. Walton for one job, and back for another, in a single day in 1992. She never drove, but rode in the back seat of her clients' cars, thinking it her place. Each year she "went Greyhound" to visit her mother and sisters in Mobile, Alberta, Gee's Bend, Vernon, or Selma. Shocking many, she flew Eastern Airlines to Washington, D.C., as the only invitee from Destin to President Jimmy Carter's Inaugural Ball in 1976.
At times, out of necessity, she slept in the woods or in hotel rooms, or making herself a "pallet" in the laundry room, "servants quarters," children's rooms, garages, carports and even cars. She called it "making do." But in my house, as my friend, she had the guest room for three years, whenever she wanted.
Emma was very respectful and humble, but at the same time held her head up proudly. She was one of the most outrageously memorable personalities in Destin, which is saying alot because there are quite a few among us. Famous for her hilarious hats and stories, she was also known for beautifying the streets of Destin by picking up soda cans. She was kind to children, hated dogs, and was never afraid of hard work.
Why is she important? As the last of her brothers and sisters, and one of a mere handful of surviving women from historical Gee's Bend, Alabama, she is a member of a vanishing culture in America. In Africa it is said that when an older person dies, a library burns.
Emma left Destin against her will in 1993 and has never returned. This author felt that she deserved a fitting place in Destin's memory, and hopefully, American history. To this end, she will be memorialized in this book and in the Destin History & Fishing Museum"Footsteps in the Sand" pathway with her own brick, laid next to the families' who lived in Destin and knew her well. She loved them as her very own family.
Today Emma lives in Adult Foster Care in her own apartment in Mobile, Alabama. She is still walking to the center each day for her mail, working at keeping house, while "Keepin' up with the Prez'dents" and "what dey do in Washingto'.”
Americans today could learn something from her.
Right now, If Emma could speak to us, she would say:
"I love all of ya'll."
(c)2012 Athena Marler Creamer. All Rights Reserved.)
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Emma's Advice, Clothes, Men and Marriage
Emma’s Advice
She had advice on everything I did. She asked me why I never dressed up at home. She said I should wear my best every day, even at home. You need to wear a waist, she’d tell me. I didn’t’t know what she meant. “A waise! A waise!” I thought she mean a waste, or the clothes I was “wasting” by not wearing them, until she showed me a blouse.
She also told me I shouldn’t’t let anyone in my home. “Let them wonder, hee hee. G’ve ‘em”something to worry about.” I thought it was a little funny that I should wear my best and then not let anyone see it.
“Stop showin’ everybody yo’ house! They don’t need to be comin’ in here. You got the baby and you got your husband, and it ain’t any of anybody’s business. You let fam’ly in. Dat’s all.”
“Don’ let strangers in yo’ house. Dey might come back and kill ya’ll or take sumpin.”
She liked me to show her my clothes hanging in my closet. “Oooh, dats putty. Try dat on. Why you not wear’n that? You should wear dat for your husband. How come you don’t? I’d wear it if you don’t. Mmm, hmm.” We wore the same size, a 10/12 and I sometimes gave her a garment she admired. “If you don’t want somethin’ you let me know! My cousins can wear it and the babies. I’ll take it to ’em when I go to my house in Alabama.”
“You should wear ALL your jew’lry, every DAY.” She emphasized in a soft, staccato voice.
I guess she was giving me lessons on how to live like the rich women she worked for.
I started dressing up more, putting on matching costume jewelry every day, and Emma gave the okay to my outfits before I left the house. I sort of enjoyed it, basking in her “expert” approval. After all, I thought, she was affirming my own taste in clothes.
If another woman popped into my house, say, someone from church or a friend, she’d suspiciously ask me, “Who is Dat.”
“They’re from my church.”
“Uh huh,” she’d agree like that didn’t matter …”So, what they doing over here? This ain’t Sunday. Does she have her OWN husban’? She ought not to be in you’ house. Nuh, UH.”
“But she’s my friend.”
“Well, you can go out and see her. Go som’place. She doesn’t need to be in your house all the day. You’re too bizzy. You got a husband and a baby…”
I remembered something in the bible that confirmed that older women should stay in their own homes and not be busybodies, but take care of their own children and husbands. It occurred to me there could possibly be far fewer affairs and divorces that way.
(c)2012 Athena Marler Creamer, All Rights Reserved.
She had advice on everything I did. She asked me why I never dressed up at home. She said I should wear my best every day, even at home. You need to wear a waist, she’d tell me. I didn’t’t know what she meant. “A waise! A waise!” I thought she mean a waste, or the clothes I was “wasting” by not wearing them, until she showed me a blouse.
She also told me I shouldn’t’t let anyone in my home. “Let them wonder, hee hee. G’ve ‘em”something to worry about.” I thought it was a little funny that I should wear my best and then not let anyone see it.
“Stop showin’ everybody yo’ house! They don’t need to be comin’ in here. You got the baby and you got your husband, and it ain’t any of anybody’s business. You let fam’ly in. Dat’s all.”
“Don’ let strangers in yo’ house. Dey might come back and kill ya’ll or take sumpin.”
She liked me to show her my clothes hanging in my closet. “Oooh, dats putty. Try dat on. Why you not wear’n that? You should wear dat for your husband. How come you don’t? I’d wear it if you don’t. Mmm, hmm.” We wore the same size, a 10/12 and I sometimes gave her a garment she admired. “If you don’t want somethin’ you let me know! My cousins can wear it and the babies. I’ll take it to ’em when I go to my house in Alabama.”
“You should wear ALL your jew’lry, every DAY.” She emphasized in a soft, staccato voice.
I guess she was giving me lessons on how to live like the rich women she worked for.
I started dressing up more, putting on matching costume jewelry every day, and Emma gave the okay to my outfits before I left the house. I sort of enjoyed it, basking in her “expert” approval. After all, I thought, she was affirming my own taste in clothes.
If another woman popped into my house, say, someone from church or a friend, she’d suspiciously ask me, “Who is Dat.”
“They’re from my church.”
“Uh huh,” she’d agree like that didn’t matter …”So, what they doing over here? This ain’t Sunday. Does she have her OWN husban’? She ought not to be in you’ house. Nuh, UH.”
“But she’s my friend.”
“Well, you can go out and see her. Go som’place. She doesn’t need to be in your house all the day. You’re too bizzy. You got a husband and a baby…”
I remembered something in the bible that confirmed that older women should stay in their own homes and not be busybodies, but take care of their own children and husbands. It occurred to me there could possibly be far fewer affairs and divorces that way.
(c)2012 Athena Marler Creamer, All Rights Reserved.
The Way We Were
The Way We Were
Destin, in the 60’s, was a sleepy fishing village unofficially about one mile long, from the two-laned bridge to the “boon docks.” Beyond there was called “4 Mile Village.”
Let me try to recall “the world” as I remember it. Note: Please forgive me, dear Reader, if I overlook your family or business. I couldn't drive yet at my age, and was highly limited to the vista from the back seat of my family’s car or from holding hands with my parents. This was also original Destin, now considered west Destin.
For a future edition of this book, please enlighten me and I will include your family, too. When I was young, I remember ,our 6 classroom Destin Elementary, the post office-an Art Deco, red brick building with rounded corners still on the corner of U. S. 98 and what is now Marler Avenue.
Two grocery stores, Odom’s and Jitney Jungle. Three churches (First Presbyterian, St. Andrew’s by the Sea Episcopal, and First Baptist), a Laundromat next to Tropical Togs, two beauty parlors to amuse tourist women while their husbands fished, Destin Beauty Parlor and Harbor Lights florist and Beauty Parlor, that smelled of both flowers and hairspray. The party and fishing boats were owned by us, and the Kellys, Melvins, and most of our relatives were in the business. Accommodations included Aunt Stella’s The Florida Girl motel and boat by the same name. The Marlborough Motel owned by Mr. Vic, the Greek man. Roger Clary’s Silver Beach cottages and Cecil Woodward’s “Jay Villa” pink cottages on the harbor along with the Rob-Roy Motel and Sailfish motel. The Old Spyglass Inn sign and Riviera Motel were on the beach. Kelly Windes had a diner, The Destin Shopping Center, our Tackle Shop, Cleo’s dress shop, (later Gwen’s), a short-lived Green Stamp redemption center, Tony’s pizza parlor, Kelly’s bar and grill at the bridge. There was a Shell station at the bridge and Sylvan Marler’s Texaco gas station. An ice house, and Homer Jones', East Pass Marina fuel dock, Braden’s- by- the Sea Gift shop, Destin’s Bait and commercial fishing, Salty Brunson’s bait and tackle, a tiny library (which is now our Museum) and a thrift store that everyone donated to. I held my mom’s hand to climb up steep, rickety steps in a narror staircase, to an upstairs room of the old wooden Community Center building.
Capt. Curry Horn built the custom cabinets in town when he wasn't running his boat in the summers.
Mr. ? fixed the furnace. Kenny Mauldin fixed radios for captains. Dottie Bingham tutored kids after school in her lime green, "fun house" on stilts, on Benning Drive.
The American Legion was built , and after Vietnam, added real WWII tank out front. Destin was small, with population of about 61,175 for Okaloosa County, we had about 750, I believe, governed from the county seat in Crestview. When you “called the law” that meant a State Trooper of the Florida Highway Patrol. We had Gulf Power electricity, but used well water and had septic tanks in 1969? We all incinerated our own trash in the backyard inside a roll of wire fence or chicken wire. I will never forget the sweet, acrid smell and orange haze when the whole town decided to burn trash on the same day. It make it seem like Halloween.
Some of our roads were only clay, and sand.
Southern Bell? provided phone service, once the flesh colored line was nestled into the bushes of Highway 98, a two lane, from DeFuniak Springs to Destin from the east. Phone numbers had only 6 digits. Ours was TE-7331. Our post office box was 277.
You could go to the city of Ft. Walton Beach 6 miles away to see two movies at the Palm Theater, or one movie at the Tringas Theater, or get a comic book at Jimmy's News Stand. We loved McDonald's. Went to Sears at Christmas. Shopped at Gaylords, Cristos Five and Dime, and Playground Music Center to take lessons from Mrs. Najarian. We went to ballets and plays at the Civic Center. There was Leon's and Smith's for women's apparel. The Greyhound Bus station was where my father sometimes picked up boat parts shipped from Panama City. The three banks in the city were First National Bank, First City Bank, and Eglin Federal Credit Union. The closest grocer was Delchamps. When we got sick or needed a vaccination, it was at White Wilson Medical Center. Mothers gave birth at General Hospital,
and passed Gulfarium on Okaloosa Island on the way.
Imagine all of this was Emma's "stomping ground," just as it was for us.
Looking at a map of Destin, Emma's whole career could be contained in a "diamond," bordered by Calhoun Avenue, Main Street, Holiday Isle and Airport Road.
Her past world in Alberta and Gee's Bend, Alabama was as small, a 2-3 sq. mile "pocket" bordered by a horseshoe in the Alabama River, and Wilcox County Rd 29, and missing ferry which kept it isolated.
Yet, this was a woman invited to a Jimmy Carter's Inaugural Ball with the bravery to fly by herself to Washington, D.C. She was a woman who knew who she was, and who really didn't need Martin Luther King to tell her that she already was "somebody."
(c) 2012 Athena Marler Creamer, All Rights Reserved.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Emma's Hats, from The Help of Destin, Emma Irby
Emma’s Hats
Emma was a woman of many hats. And when she didn’t actually have a store bought one, she created her own patented models. Here are just a sampling:
She wore a white or black Turban, covered with baubles, brooches and pins.
She had several beige knitted “newsboy” caps. Very fuzzy and pilled from wear. One had a long string and a big pompom in the back.
Someone made her a beer can hat as a gift. The fronts of Bud beer cans were cut out and perforated around the edges, then crocheted together with mauve yarn into a ski hat. “It keep my head warm,” she said.
A hat was needed to help hold her wig on right, she said. She never left the house without her head coverings.
When she was out of hats, she would take a brown paper sack from the supermarket and roll the edges down until it fit the circumference of her head. Of course it was tall like a Top Hat, like Abraham Lincoln's Stovepipe, but it cast a lot of cool shade on a hot day!
If it rained, she had folding umbrella in her huge purse, but she also fashioned a rain bonnet (like those nifty refoldable purse ones ladie’s carried from the 1960’s) out of a grocery bag, the kind you get if you say “plastic.” She’d pull one handle under her chin and tuck the edges under around her face and in the back. Funny thing though, if it was windy it would bag out like a balloon behind her. I told her she reminded me of Sally Field in the Flying Nun. To this she would give a “hoo, hoo!”
Or maybe unlike Sister Bertrille, she was a black Mary Poppins. Maybe she really can use that umbrella to fly around over the treetops of Destin. She got to so many destinations in record time. I watched her leave my garage with her “bags” and wearing a trench raincoat. I blinked too long, and she was “Gone with the Wind.”
©2012 Athena Marler Creamer. All Rights Reserved.
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