Blueberry Tea with Lorelei Stoble

Blueberry Tea with Lorelei Stroble Welcoming us into the lovely dune-level condominium in Santa Rosa Beach, Mrs. Lorelei Stroble was wearing white slacks to match her soft hair, and a blueberry and white blouse, to match her blue eyes. She offered my friend and me a tall glass of freshly brewed blueberry iced tea and relaxed in her reading chair to reminisce. "It was after Emma went to the Carter Inauguration, she began, that Emma helped me. She was at my home every day for about three years. She didn't room with us, but we carried her to Ms. Kelly's house in the evening. Emma stayed in a greenhouse-like cottage which was once a carport, apart from the main house." "My former husband was in the liquors business. We had a large cabinet of bottles. Emma used to say, "Mr. Bill, I be'n ironing all day, and the chillun have been terrible. I need a drink!" My husband marked a bottle, because we once had a maid that would pour for herself. So, he'd say," if you'll wait to the end of the day, I'll pour you one." The next story she told reminded me of my favorite Peter Sellers movie from 1968, called "The Party." It starred a very sober, but inept, Indian actor played by Peter Sellers, who for religious reasons never touched alcohol, and a tipsy waiter serving glamorous starlets and studio wives at a ritzy party given by a big time Hollywood producer. The movie was was a madcap comedy of errors, set in a serious, dignified setting among people trying terribly to remain cool, calm and collected. While the waiter was mute as he drunkenly navigates a maze of obstacles and causes others to have embarrassing accidents, Emma was not playing a silent part. "One night Emma served for me at a dinner party I was giving. I made roast duck, and vegetables, and for dessert, homemade peach icecream. We were having two doctors over, a psychiatrist and a pediatrician, with their wives. One of the wives was about 20 years younger than the other one. Emma told one, "Is dat your daughter? She looks JUST LIKE Yoo." But that wasn't all. "Emma was in the kitchen, finishing what was in the glasses, and was feeling no pain. While she served the second course, one of the doctors fished out a twenty dollar bill and tried to discreetly pass it to her behind his chair. Noticing, she announced in a loud voice: "Oh, Thank Yoo! Dat's so nice of yoo. None of these other S.O.B.s would've give me dat! " "After we had finished eating and were talking, it was time for the dessert." "There were two brick steps leading up from the dining room into the kitchen. Emma was supposed to serve the tea tray with pretty little crystal bowls filled with the peach icecream. As she walked down the stairs, she must have tripped and the whole tray went one way, and all the icecream and cups went everywhere, all over the carpeting." My husband said, "That's it. Get finished up, get your purse, I'm taking you home." "He didn't even wait to let her stay to clean up the icecream. I had to do that." Are you sure we are talking about the same Emma? I wondered aloud. She told me that she never drank. "Well maybe she doesn't now, but she sure did back then!" Thinking about it later, I did seem to remember Emma talking about a party like this one. So I hope she doesn't mind my telling the story, which everyone thought was humorous, even Emma. Emma loved being different, and she liked to laugh at her own antics. She certainly could be a lot of fun. I asked where Lorelei was from. Churchhill, Louisianna, she told me. I asked her since she had seen "The Help" movie, and whether there was the same type of prejudice there. Oh no, she said. We had them help us all the time. My grandmother was raised on a Plantation with 14 children. They ironed, and cleaned and a teacher came to school them. As I left, the soft spoken Lorelei (whose Germanic name means the Mermaid of the Rhine), had another thought. "I once had on a dress that Emma really liked." She said, admiringly, "I'll race you for that dress." We laughed because she'd said that to me once, too. That meant high praise. It was nice to know that Emma never changed. She was the same Emma from the very beginning. (c) 2012. Athena Marler Creamer. All Rights Reserved.

Photograph: Emma Lee Irby (1976)

Two Angels at the Door from The Help of Destin: Emma Irby

Two Angels at the Door



When Christina was born, I was 30 years old and didn't have a clue. I was as prepared as a mother-to-be, could be, with the nursery decorations. But after one "false alarm," crazy race to the hospital, the real birth came on suddenly, three nights later and I had forgotten to do enough laundry. Coming home from the hospital, there were no lingering oohs and ahhs because everyone who had attended the birth had to be somewhere else...the dock, the post office, the Gulf, the bank, the gift shop, answering the business phones, buying groceries, filling prescriptions. My mother said, will you be okay until later? So, feeling totally alone, just me and Jesus, I sat on my sofa with my precious baby in my arms and shed a tear. I needed help, and a lot of it.



I must say later that night, everyone came over, but the next day, even my dear mother could not be there for long. It was March 14th, Spring Break, and Emmanuel party boat business had to be run. Exhausted and weak from labor that was long and "precipitous," it was hard to even get out of bed.



Someone must have told Emma that I had a baby.



Just when I was desperately crying out to God, she knocked on the door. I could have kissed her. She just started "doing" everything that needed to be done, including laundry, answering the phone, bringing me things to drink, and holding the baby. She made life beautiful. Happy days were here again.



That day, I had two angels entering my life. Christina, my firstborn, and Emma. I have no doubt both were heaven-sent.

....

Out of Africa

Out of Africa

Reading all of this, sometimes you don't see the obvious. Emma's people are from South Carolina.

Possibly but not conclusively, one of the "7."

Another interesting thing was that within the Irby slaves, there was a set of twins born in 1862, both male. One was named Lum, or Lumsi (meaning "excellent" in African). And the other might have been Cal.

It was feared that fresh slaves from Africa would have re-Africanized the American bred negro slaves they came in contact with, those that had become "sweeter" in disposition over time, like wild honeybees bred with other docile honeybees. No one knew what would happen. But, they adjusted better than was thought.

408 from the Wanderer, and 106 from the Clotilde ships. They were astonished to see men with their own skin color wearing white men's garments.

After 50 years, the forgotten phrases, drumbeats and ring dances would begin again. Just like I heard on Music from Beyond the River, recorded in Gee's Bend in 1941.//
(Photo- The Wanderer, from Wikipedia. Creative Commons License.)

Kindly Mr. Irby? Free Book Excerpt

Kindly Mr. Irby?

Who was this slaveholder, turned landholder? If Mr. Irby picked a time to pick cotton in Rehoboth, he might have waited a mite too long. Yet, we know he did, because we have Emma.

Born in Marlboro in 1818 (the same year importing slaves were banned by the way), in 1850 Census he lived as a single man with 31 slaves in Lexington, Dallas County, Alabama.

One decade later in 1860 I found him at home in Rohoboth, Gee's Bend, (post office box Prairie Bluff) and his 31 slaves had grown from 31 to "47 plus 7." That "plus 7" interested me very much, since the Wanderer had landed 2 years earlier and the captives trekked through his home state. Those 54 slaves lived in 12 houses on land he purchased from Mr. and Mrs. Christian.

Enter the war.

"His people" must have earnestly waited for him to return from the Civil War, not knowing their fate. Cal, Emma's future grandfather, being too young to know.

Josiah was a foot soldier, and an older one at that. He volunteered to join the Confederate Army at age 44, went in as a 2nd Lieutenant, Alabama, Company A, 4th Infantry Regiment, muster date 1 August year 1862. The war had begun at Ft. Sumter in 61 and he saw much action. I honestly felt sorry for him. He started with the Battle of Manassas which lost all field officers, Yorkton, Seven Pines 2nd Battle of Manassas, Seven Days Battle, Chickamauga, Antitem, Fredericksburg, Gettysburg, Ft. Sanders, The Wilderness, and Spotsylvania Campaign. Miraculously he did not die, although he may have finally have been captured and surrendered with 300 others at the Battle of Mobile Bay in 84.


After 1865, he applied for a Presidential Pardon which cost him $2,000.

His slaves were now free, in theory at least.

In 1870, he lived in Rehoboth, with $10,000 worth of land, paying taxes of $1,800 to Mileax County. He was 52 years old.

He was living with a "mulatto" freed woman and her (their?) son, Duncan, also "mullato," and in his last will and testament in 1870, he gives Emeline Gee, quite a bit of property, and she is named preferentially before any of his other heirs. Her occupation on the 1870 Census is "dorm servant."

His will began with the words, "In the Name of God, Amen!"

He died the following year.//
(Photo The Battle of Mobile by Louis Prang. Library of Congress. Used by Creative Commons, Wikipedia.)

Color Blindness, from The Help of Destin, Emma Irby, by Athena Marler Creamer (free sample chapter)

Color Blindness

One day I curiously asked Emma about Mattie Kelly’s house because Emma had worked there a very long time.
After she had a "falling out" with Mrs. Tringas over moving things on a dresser, she came to Destin in 1966 and worked for Mattie off and on for 27 years.

“What do yoo want to Kno’?” I thought she seemed a little guarded.

“Well, like what kind of living room furniture does she have?” You can tell a lot about a person by the way they decorate their home.

“Well… Yoo kno’. All kinds.”

“In the same room?”

“Yea, kinda mixed like.”

"That's called Eclectic."

"Who?"

"When all the styles are different...What color is her kitchen floor that you used to mop? “

“Black and white, I guess. “It wuz…kinda checkety-like. She ha‘ a big ki‘chen. I used to mop it last thing every night.“ She stretched out her hand to the northeast, pointing into the distance toward on Indian Trail, where the Kelly's lived.

“You mean like a checkboard? Big black and white squares?”

“Yea, like dat.”

“What is her color scheme in the living room?”

“Whut do you mean, color scheme?” She laughed.

“I mean, what colors does she have? Like red, green, blue, or earth tones?”

“Erf tones? ERF TONES?,” she laughed louder.

“I mean like brown, white, cream, gold…“

“I don’t kno’. All colors I reckon,” she said with a smile. She started rocking.

“You reckon” I laughed, too.

“Yea. Well, I’m color blind.”

That made me ponder and smile, too. Emma was color blind!

“What color was her bedroom?” adding that my grandmother’s was pink.

“I don’ kno’, because I never went upstairs in Ms. Kelly’s house.”

“You didn’t? That's strange. Were you her only maid?”

“Naw, I took care of the downstairs, and some others took care of the upstairs.”

“Really?”

“Yea, because I stayed home and did the cookin’ in the kitchen.“

“Oh, you were a better cook.”

“I guess SO!“ She said matter of factly.

“Where did you sleep in Mattie’s house?” I’m so nosy.

“Next to the ki’chen. In the Laundry.”

“You mean, on the floor?”

“Naw, I had a little cot in there. But I don’ like a cot. I make a little pallet on the floor.”

“Did Mattie like to give a lot of parties? Like for important people in the art world?”

“She did give parties but mostly for family. They was always comin’ and goin’. I used to help Joon‘s momma, what was her name?”

Emma had changed the subject.

“You mean Jane? Jane Marler? There was a June, too. She died. You probably mean her mother, Aunt Stella, right? June was her daughter?”

“Yea, I helped her give a big wedding. I was written up in the paper.”

Emma was frequently mentioned in the newspapers for helping with parties and weddings.

One day Emma came over very mad because she’d walked over the Mattie’s house to work the previous day, and could not get in. So, she slept in the car port until morning. Still, no one was home, so she walked several miles to my house. It was nothing for her to walk miles between jobs.
We just never knew when to expect her.

(c) 2012 Athena Marler Creamer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo of Holiday Isle and Destin Harbor from 1964 Movie, Dr. Strangelove.

Free Book Excerpt: Preface to "The Help of Destin, Emma Irby" by Athena Marler Creamer

Preface to "The Help of Destin"

For 57 years, truly, Emma Irby was "the Help" of Destin.

She recollects"helping" more than 75 of our families to the third and fourth generations; first the parents, then their children, and grandchildren, and great grandchildren. She was passed from friend to friend, family to family, place to place. She helped pioneers and newcomers alike.

In the 1950's she cleaned our earliest motels and cottages, and in the 1970s made the cole slaw at the new Capt. Dave's Restaurant. Behind the scenes, she was helping Destin prosper.

Eleven Presidents took office during the 57 years she spent among us, starting with Dwight David Eisenhower. She watched Destin grow from a small fishing village to a world famous resort, increasing from one mile to seven miles long, and city population booming from 750 to 15,000? residents. Now Okaloosa County hosts 20 million international visitors a year.

She was here even before"Civil Rights." When a small but active kkk in Destin posted the insulting sign, “Negro don’t let the sun set on your head, ” it pointed to her, since she was the only "colored" person actually living in Destin. Negros were relegated to "The Quarters" in Ft. Walton. Segregation and "bussing" were policy in Okaloosa County. There were separate parks and beaches for black and white; "Liza Jackson Park" and “Beasley Park"attest to this. Yet she lived long enough to see the first African-American President, Barack Obama and his First Lady move into the White House and seek reelection.

Emma walked the same streets of Destin and Ft. Walton for 57 years. I calculate 12 miles per week over 2,964 weeks, would be an incredible 35,568 miles! That's a lot of sand in her shoes. She walked over the Destin bridge to Ft. Walton for one job, and back for another, in a single day in 1992. She never drove, but rode in the back seat of her clients' cars, thinking it her place. Each year she "went Greyhound" to visit her mother and sisters in Mobile, Alberta, Gee's Bend, Vernon, or Selma. Shocking many, she flew Eastern Airlines to Washington, D.C., as the only invitee from Destin to President Jimmy Carter's Inaugural Ball in 1976.

At times, out of necessity, she slept in the woods or in hotel rooms, or making herself a "pallet" in the laundry room, "servants quarters," children's rooms, garages, carports and even cars. She called it "making do." But in my house, as my friend, she had the guest room for three years, whenever she wanted.

Emma was very respectful and humble, but at the same time held her head up proudly. She was one of the most outrageously memorable personalities in Destin, which is saying alot because there are quite a few among us. Famous for her hilarious hats and stories, she was also known for beautifying the streets of Destin by picking up soda cans. She was kind to children, hated dogs, and was never afraid of hard work.

Why is she important? As the last of her brothers and sisters, and one of a mere handful of surviving women from historical Gee's Bend, Alabama, she is a member of a vanishing culture in America. In Africa it is said that when an older person dies, a library burns.

Emma left Destin against her will in 1993 and has never returned. This author felt that she deserved a fitting place in Destin's memory, and hopefully, American history. To this end, she will be memorialized in this book and in the Destin History & Fishing Museum"Footsteps in the Sand" pathway with her own brick, laid next to the families' who lived in Destin and knew her well. She loved them as her very own family.

Today Emma lives in Adult Foster Care in her own apartment in Mobile, Alabama. She is still walking to the center each day for her mail, working at keeping house, while "Keepin' up with the Prez'dents" and "what dey do in Washingto'.”

Americans today could learn something from her.

Right now, If Emma could speak to us, she would say:

"I love all of ya'll."
(c)2012 Athena Marler Creamer. All Rights Reserved.)