Color Blindness, from The Help of Destin, Emma Irby, by Athena Marler Creamer (free sample chapter)

Color Blindness

One day I curiously asked Emma about Mattie Kelly’s house because Emma had worked there a very long time.
After she had a "falling out" with Mrs. Tringas over moving things on a dresser, she came to Destin in 1966 and worked for Mattie off and on for 27 years.

“What do yoo want to Kno’?” I thought she seemed a little guarded.

“Well, like what kind of living room furniture does she have?” You can tell a lot about a person by the way they decorate their home.

“Well… Yoo kno’. All kinds.”

“In the same room?”

“Yea, kinda mixed like.”

"That's called Eclectic."

"Who?"

"When all the styles are different...What color is her kitchen floor that you used to mop? “

“Black and white, I guess. “It wuz…kinda checkety-like. She ha‘ a big ki‘chen. I used to mop it last thing every night.“ She stretched out her hand to the northeast, pointing into the distance toward on Indian Trail, where the Kelly's lived.

“You mean like a checkboard? Big black and white squares?”

“Yea, like dat.”

“What is her color scheme in the living room?”

“Whut do you mean, color scheme?” She laughed.

“I mean, what colors does she have? Like red, green, blue, or earth tones?”

“Erf tones? ERF TONES?,” she laughed louder.

“I mean like brown, white, cream, gold…“

“I don’t kno’. All colors I reckon,” she said with a smile. She started rocking.

“You reckon” I laughed, too.

“Yea. Well, I’m color blind.”

That made me ponder and smile, too. Emma was color blind!

“What color was her bedroom?” adding that my grandmother’s was pink.

“I don’ kno’, because I never went upstairs in Ms. Kelly’s house.”

“You didn’t? That's strange. Were you her only maid?”

“Naw, I took care of the downstairs, and some others took care of the upstairs.”

“Really?”

“Yea, because I stayed home and did the cookin’ in the kitchen.“

“Oh, you were a better cook.”

“I guess SO!“ She said matter of factly.

“Where did you sleep in Mattie’s house?” I’m so nosy.

“Next to the ki’chen. In the Laundry.”

“You mean, on the floor?”

“Naw, I had a little cot in there. But I don’ like a cot. I make a little pallet on the floor.”

“Did Mattie like to give a lot of parties? Like for important people in the art world?”

“She did give parties but mostly for family. They was always comin’ and goin’. I used to help Joon‘s momma, what was her name?”

Emma had changed the subject.

“You mean Jane? Jane Marler? There was a June, too. She died. You probably mean her mother, Aunt Stella, right? June was her daughter?”

“Yea, I helped her give a big wedding. I was written up in the paper.”

Emma was frequently mentioned in the newspapers for helping with parties and weddings.

One day Emma came over very mad because she’d walked over the Mattie’s house to work the previous day, and could not get in. So, she slept in the car port until morning. Still, no one was home, so she walked several miles to my house. It was nothing for her to walk miles between jobs.
We just never knew when to expect her.

(c) 2012 Athena Marler Creamer. All Rights Reserved.
Photo of Holiday Isle and Destin Harbor from 1964 Movie, Dr. Strangelove.

Free Book Excerpt: Preface to "The Help of Destin, Emma Irby" by Athena Marler Creamer

Preface to "The Help of Destin"

For 57 years, truly, Emma Irby was "the Help" of Destin.

She recollects"helping" more than 75 of our families to the third and fourth generations; first the parents, then their children, and grandchildren, and great grandchildren. She was passed from friend to friend, family to family, place to place. She helped pioneers and newcomers alike.

In the 1950's she cleaned our earliest motels and cottages, and in the 1970s made the cole slaw at the new Capt. Dave's Restaurant. Behind the scenes, she was helping Destin prosper.

Eleven Presidents took office during the 57 years she spent among us, starting with Dwight David Eisenhower. She watched Destin grow from a small fishing village to a world famous resort, increasing from one mile to seven miles long, and city population booming from 750 to 15,000? residents. Now Okaloosa County hosts 20 million international visitors a year.

She was here even before"Civil Rights." When a small but active kkk in Destin posted the insulting sign, “Negro don’t let the sun set on your head, ” it pointed to her, since she was the only "colored" person actually living in Destin. Negros were relegated to "The Quarters" in Ft. Walton. Segregation and "bussing" were policy in Okaloosa County. There were separate parks and beaches for black and white; "Liza Jackson Park" and “Beasley Park"attest to this. Yet she lived long enough to see the first African-American President, Barack Obama and his First Lady move into the White House and seek reelection.

Emma walked the same streets of Destin and Ft. Walton for 57 years. I calculate 12 miles per week over 2,964 weeks, would be an incredible 35,568 miles! That's a lot of sand in her shoes. She walked over the Destin bridge to Ft. Walton for one job, and back for another, in a single day in 1992. She never drove, but rode in the back seat of her clients' cars, thinking it her place. Each year she "went Greyhound" to visit her mother and sisters in Mobile, Alberta, Gee's Bend, Vernon, or Selma. Shocking many, she flew Eastern Airlines to Washington, D.C., as the only invitee from Destin to President Jimmy Carter's Inaugural Ball in 1976.

At times, out of necessity, she slept in the woods or in hotel rooms, or making herself a "pallet" in the laundry room, "servants quarters," children's rooms, garages, carports and even cars. She called it "making do." But in my house, as my friend, she had the guest room for three years, whenever she wanted.

Emma was very respectful and humble, but at the same time held her head up proudly. She was one of the most outrageously memorable personalities in Destin, which is saying alot because there are quite a few among us. Famous for her hilarious hats and stories, she was also known for beautifying the streets of Destin by picking up soda cans. She was kind to children, hated dogs, and was never afraid of hard work.

Why is she important? As the last of her brothers and sisters, and one of a mere handful of surviving women from historical Gee's Bend, Alabama, she is a member of a vanishing culture in America. In Africa it is said that when an older person dies, a library burns.

Emma left Destin against her will in 1993 and has never returned. This author felt that she deserved a fitting place in Destin's memory, and hopefully, American history. To this end, she will be memorialized in this book and in the Destin History & Fishing Museum"Footsteps in the Sand" pathway with her own brick, laid next to the families' who lived in Destin and knew her well. She loved them as her very own family.

Today Emma lives in Adult Foster Care in her own apartment in Mobile, Alabama. She is still walking to the center each day for her mail, working at keeping house, while "Keepin' up with the Prez'dents" and "what dey do in Washingto'.”

Americans today could learn something from her.

Right now, If Emma could speak to us, she would say:

"I love all of ya'll."
(c)2012 Athena Marler Creamer. All Rights Reserved.)

Emma's Advice, Clothes, Men and Marriage

Emma’s Advice
She had advice on everything I did. She asked me why I never dressed up at home. She said I should wear my best every day, even at home. You need to wear a waist, she’d tell me. I didn’t’t know what she meant. “A waise! A waise!” I thought she mean a waste, or the clothes I was “wasting” by not wearing them, until she showed me a blouse.
She also told me I shouldn’t’t let anyone in my home. “Let them wonder, hee hee. G’ve ‘em”something to worry about.” I thought it was a little funny that I should wear my best and then not let anyone see it.
“Stop showin’ everybody yo’ house! They don’t need to be comin’ in here. You got the baby and you got your husband, and it ain’t any of anybody’s business. You let fam’ly in. Dat’s all.”
“Don’ let strangers in yo’ house. Dey might come back and kill ya’ll or take sumpin.”
She liked me to show her my clothes hanging in my closet. “Oooh, dats putty. Try dat on. Why you not wear’n that? You should wear dat for your husband. How come you don’t? I’d wear it if you don’t. Mmm, hmm.” We wore the same size, a 10/12 and I sometimes gave her a garment she admired. “If you don’t want somethin’ you let me know! My cousins can wear it and the babies. I’ll take it to ’em when I go to my house in Alabama.”
“You should wear ALL your jew’lry, every DAY.” She emphasized in a soft, staccato voice.
I guess she was giving me lessons on how to live like the rich women she worked for.
I started dressing up more, putting on matching costume jewelry every day, and Emma gave the okay to my outfits before I left the house. I sort of enjoyed it, basking in her “expert” approval. After all, I thought, she was affirming my own taste in clothes.
If another woman popped into my house, say, someone from church or a friend, she’d suspiciously ask me, “Who is Dat.”
“They’re from my church.”
“Uh huh,” she’d agree like that didn’t matter …”So, what they doing over here? This ain’t Sunday. Does she have her OWN husban’? She ought not to be in you’ house. Nuh, UH.”
“But she’s my friend.”
“Well, you can go out and see her. Go som’place. She doesn’t need to be in your house all the day. You’re too bizzy. You got a husband and a baby…”
I remembered something in the bible that confirmed that older women should stay in their own homes and not be busybodies, but take care of their own children and husbands. It occurred to me there could possibly be far fewer affairs and divorces that way.
(c)2012 Athena Marler Creamer, All Rights Reserved.

The Way We Were

The Way We Were
Destin, in the 60’s, was a sleepy fishing village unofficially about one mile long, from the two-laned bridge to the “boon docks.” Beyond there was called “4 Mile Village.”

Let me try to recall “the world” as I remember it. Note: Please forgive me, dear Reader, if I overlook your family or business. I couldn't drive yet at my age, and was highly limited to the vista from the back seat of my family’s car or from holding hands with my parents. This was also original Destin, now considered west Destin.

For a future edition of this book, please enlighten me and I will include your family, too. When I was young, I remember ,our 6 classroom Destin Elementary, the post office-an Art Deco, red brick building with rounded corners still on the corner of U. S. 98 and what is now Marler Avenue.

Two grocery stores, Odom’s and Jitney Jungle. Three churches (First Presbyterian, St. Andrew’s by the Sea Episcopal, and First Baptist), a Laundromat next to Tropical Togs, two beauty parlors to amuse tourist women while their husbands fished, Destin Beauty Parlor and Harbor Lights florist and Beauty Parlor, that smelled of both flowers and hairspray. The party and fishing boats were owned by us, and the Kellys, Melvins, and most of our relatives were in the business. Accommodations included Aunt Stella’s The Florida Girl motel and boat by the same name. The Marlborough Motel owned by Mr. Vic, the Greek man. Roger Clary’s Silver Beach cottages and Cecil Woodward’s “Jay Villa” pink cottages on the harbor along with the Rob-Roy Motel and Sailfish motel. The Old Spyglass Inn sign and Riviera Motel were on the beach. Kelly Windes had a diner, The Destin Shopping Center, our Tackle Shop, Cleo’s dress shop, (later Gwen’s), a short-lived Green Stamp redemption center, Tony’s pizza parlor, Kelly’s bar and grill at the bridge. There was a Shell station at the bridge and Sylvan Marler’s Texaco gas station. An ice house, and Homer Jones', East Pass Marina fuel dock, Braden’s- by- the Sea Gift shop, Destin’s Bait and commercial fishing, Salty Brunson’s bait and tackle, a tiny library (which is now our Museum) and a thrift store that everyone donated to. I held my mom’s hand to climb up steep, rickety steps in a narror staircase, to an upstairs room of the old wooden Community Center building.

Capt. Curry Horn built the custom cabinets in town when he wasn't running his boat in the summers.
Mr. ? fixed the furnace. Kenny Mauldin fixed radios for captains. Dottie Bingham tutored kids after school in her lime green, "fun house" on stilts, on Benning Drive.

The American Legion was built , and after Vietnam, added real WWII tank out front. Destin was small, with population of about 61,175 for Okaloosa County, we had about 750, I believe, governed from the county seat in Crestview. When you “called the law” that meant a State Trooper of the Florida Highway Patrol. We had Gulf Power electricity, but used well water and had septic tanks in 1969? We all incinerated our own trash in the backyard inside a roll of wire fence or chicken wire. I will never forget the sweet, acrid smell and orange haze when the whole town decided to burn trash on the same day. It make it seem like Halloween.

Some of our roads were only clay, and sand.

Southern Bell? provided phone service, once the flesh colored line was nestled into the bushes of Highway 98, a two lane, from DeFuniak Springs to Destin from the east. Phone numbers had only 6 digits. Ours was TE-7331. Our post office box was 277.

You could go to the city of Ft. Walton Beach 6 miles away to see two movies at the Palm Theater, or one movie at the Tringas Theater, or get a comic book at Jimmy's News Stand. We loved McDonald's. Went to Sears at Christmas. Shopped at Gaylords, Cristos Five and Dime, and Playground Music Center to take lessons from Mrs. Najarian. We went to ballets and plays at the Civic Center. There was Leon's and Smith's for women's apparel. The Greyhound Bus station was where my father sometimes picked up boat parts shipped from Panama City. The three banks in the city were First National Bank, First City Bank, and Eglin Federal Credit Union. The closest grocer was Delchamps. When we got sick or needed a vaccination, it was at White Wilson Medical Center. Mothers gave birth at General Hospital,
and passed Gulfarium on Okaloosa Island on the way.

Imagine all of this was Emma's "stomping ground," just as it was for us.

Looking at a map of Destin, Emma's whole career could be contained in a "diamond," bordered by Calhoun Avenue, Main Street, Holiday Isle and Airport Road.

Her past world in Alberta and Gee's Bend, Alabama was as small, a 2-3 sq. mile "pocket" bordered by a horseshoe in the Alabama River, and Wilcox County Rd 29, and missing ferry which kept it isolated.

Yet, this was a woman invited to a Jimmy Carter's Inaugural Ball with the bravery to fly by herself to Washington, D.C. She was a woman who knew who she was, and who really didn't need Martin Luther King to tell her that she already was "somebody."
(c) 2012 Athena Marler Creamer, All Rights Reserved.